I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you win again, gameday.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
