Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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