went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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