For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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