she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This house was built for laser tag.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
