Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
