i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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