fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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