News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
