I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
