I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
