bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
