You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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