what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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