hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
