But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
