my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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