"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
