The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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