I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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