Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
