She said her name was "party"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
