i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
please don't ironically join a cult
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