Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize