the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
