Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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