I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize