youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
