Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
