well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
