tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
