Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
