Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
