im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
