i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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