You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
