She said her name was "party"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
