i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
