Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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