i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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