my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
