If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
