ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My bed smells like the plague
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
