Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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