The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
