You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
