im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
