Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
