Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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