just tell him i said nine months
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
