My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
