She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize