You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
