we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
